Chris Smith 2: Athena Loses a Bet

Athena and Ares argue over human nature, and agree to test three great minds of the age.

First, they approach Aristotle in the Lyceum and propose a bargain. “If you ask it of us, the one you love most in the world will perish, but you will be made rich beyond imagining.” Aristotle barely hesitates. “No,” he says. “To destroy the very purpose of living for the sake of the mere means is the mark of a man who lacks wisdom.”

Next, they approach Plato, finding him pacing in an olive grove of his Academy. They offer the same proposal. “I decline,” he says. “Love allows us to glimpse the ideal of pure beauty, but wealth is an anchor to the material world.”

Finally, they approach Socrates, wandering barefoot in the crowded dusty stalls of the Agora. The gods approach him with the same bargain: “If you ask it of us, Xanthippe, whom you love most in the world, will perish — ”

“I ask it!” he blurts out.

Athena blinks. “You did not even hear the rest. We were going to say you would be given wealth beyond measure.”

Socrates shrugs. “Keep it. This was never about money.”

Millenia later, Athena is still smarting from losing the bet, and she demands a rematch. Searching for another Greek philosopher, they instead find a middle aged woman writing a novel called Atlas Shrugged. She’s a philosopher, and Atlas was Greek, so that’s close enough.

“If you ask it,” Athena says to her, “we will make you wealthy beyond measure, but then in return, your true love will be taken from you.”

The woman looks up, bored, and asks “Why give me the money if you’re just going to take it right back?”